So it looks like I'm this close to losing it all. I hope divine intervention or something will interfere and help things be the way that they should. Please.

We talked last week and I think it was productive. I still feel as though I'm in limbo and have no control over it. It really sucks and the thing is that I really can't do anything. It effing sucks and I just want this to end. I really do. I'm slowly losing my will to keep going and just give up. I just want to cry and wish that I didn't have to feel all this pain and misery.

It's been almost a month with no end in sight. I wish something would take control and do something. Being in limbo is draining and I am at my wits end. This weekend has been trying and I'm at the verge of tears. Crying would be a relief, but it will accomplish nothing. Perhaps I should do something and make a decision. It's not fair to me to be lost and be at the mercy of another.

It's been a while. A lot has happened, some fun and so not so fun. Right now it's in the not so fun, sprinkled with a few smiles.

Tonight was a smile. I spent the evening with my family. It was wonderful. It was a good reminder of how wonderful, loving and supportive they are. I am incredibly blessed and feel very fortunate.

The rest of the week has been filled with many ugly cries and many questions. I've gone through the emotional rollercoaster of all rollercoasters and really don't feel like going for another ride. Unfortunately, I can only do so much as the cause is something that I have no control over. I just can't think the worse. Better said than done.

Thank goodness for the incredible support system that I have.

The big boat was nice. The destinations were even better. The flight to and from, meh.

The Bahamas was great. Had a fun filled and sun filled day of snorkelling. So much so that I got a lovely sun burnt back to show for it. I'm still healing up right now and it's been five days. Peeling will begin soon enough, if it already hasn't. The second day was spent walking around the famous resort on Paradise Island, Atlantis. Really quite a huge complex, though partially overpriced and you can tell that the economy has hit them hard.

It was a great way to spend turkey weekend with my family. Couldn't have asked for more (well maybe a direct return flight).

Only a few days away before I'm on a large boat. Yay! I'm really looking forward to the fews days of away. I plan on packing away as many fresh coconuts that I can find. Mmmm... Yum.

The weekend was a good one. Had a great class and came out of it with less bruises and more confidence. Had a great visit with friends last night and today. Got a massage. Yay. Worked on the garden and have half of it done. All in all productive in many respects.

Still Going...

Okay, it's been two years since I last wrote. In a nutshell...

1. I've been travelling a lot for work. I train people on the software that my employer developed. I go across the country and do my best to get our clients comfortable with the software.

2. Summers have been occupied by none other than... The deck. Yes, the deck that I mentioned in my last entry. The same deck. The deck has become a lot over the last three summer. Summer of 2008 saw the addition of a pergola. This past summer was the addition of an outdoor kitchen with a built-in gas bbq and a sink (hot & cold water feed).

3. If work isn't keeping me away and the deck isn't keeping me busy, I've been trying to keep up with the rest of my life. Family, friends and squeezing in travelling whenever I can.

4. Travelling. Punta Cana, DR. Vancouver, BC. Las Vegas, NV. Orlando, FL. Montreal, QC.

5. Food. I've enjoyed a lot of it. I've enjoyed it wherever I have been.

Okay, so that's a really rough idea of how life has been over the last two years. As always, there were a lot of ups and downs along the way. Ta ta for now.